Children Of Horrible Cooks Share Their Pain

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Dec 20, 2020 7:00 PM EST

Many of us grew up with less than stellar cooks at the helms of our households, and we bear the scars of the past. Cooking isn't intuitive, and more often than not a rushed parent just needs to get something on the table, even if it will become a negative memory. Some of us still don't eat certain things because we lived in a world of bone-dry chicken and boiled broccoli for years. For some other garbage tasting experiences, here are the worst things people tasted.

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  • 01
    Text - Posted by u/KnowNothingOfJavert 14 hours ago 5 3 e S What is the most horrifying thing your parents did to food? Every time my dad grills hamburgers, he doesn't season the patties at all, squeezes all the juice out of them, and then wayyyyyy overcooks them. The end result is a weird, dry, falling apart, dark gray hockey puck. I love him but his burgers are something else!
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  • 02
    Text - morningzombie777 94 points · 14 hours ago My mom would slice up spam, and cook it on a griddle pan covered in brown sugar. Sugary meat was almost impossible to eat.
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  • 03
    Text - androidbear04 1.5k points · 14 hours ago Let's see, take your pick... Buying the leanest cut of ground beef to make hamburger patties and broiling them until they were about 50 moos past well done. Even she called them hockey pucks. I don't really care for hamburgers to this day. Pressure-cooking unseasoned chicken 3 times as long as it's supposed to be cooked, which leaches the bulk of the flavor into the broth. The broth must have been saved for posterity, because we never saw it again;
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  • 04
    Text - JohnnyC908 1.3k points · 14 hours ago My grandma was, bar none, the worst cook ever. We would try to sneak the food to the dogs and they wouldn't eat it. Have you ever had peas, jello, mayo, and spaghetti...salad? Casserole? Well I have. And it was hell. My grandpa made one hell of a donut and his beef pasties were awesome though.
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  • 05
    Text - TwitchyPantsMcGee 1.0k points · 13 hours ago I grew up during the '80's self- improvement craze when fat-free was blasted on everything. This was when they invented fat-free ""cheese", a substance that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike cheese. Imagine melting yellow fisher price plastic over your steamed broccoli and you get the idea.
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  • 06
    Text - writinginwater 947 points · 13 hours ago Because of the Great Trichinosis Scare of 70s, you could hammer a nail into oak with her pork chops. Just the blandness and repetition of meals was disheartening.
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  • 07
    Text - Mistaken_Shadows 870 points · 14 hours ago My father tried to make sticky rice by replacing the water with Allen's Apple juice. That was. ...
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  • 08
    Text - spade_andarcher 811 points · 12 hours ago · edited 12 hours ago One time I "helped“ my mom cook lamb chops. By "helped" I mean that I seasoned and grilled all of them to a nice medium. My mom then "finished" the lamb chops. By "finished"I mean my mom dumped a bunch of Chardonnay on them and put them in a 400° oven for exactly as long as it takes to ensure lamb chops are well- done but also that no alcohol cooks out of the wine.
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  • 09
    Text - gfvddds 796 points · 14 hours ago I didn't think I liked steak until I was in my 20's on a date. Turns out steak can be delicious when it's not a brown rubber puck.
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  • 10
    Text - purplesunshine7 695 points · 13 hours ago Boiled ribs and potatoes. That's it. No seasoning. Just boiled. Ribs. And. potatoes.
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  • 11
    Text - deekochana 643 points · 13 hours ago Veggies were boiled to mush or 'roasted' to black. Not the nice charred-black, but actually burnt-black. No seasoning other than water or oil. If they were making a recipe that needed seasoning (herbs/spices/good stuff), they'd half it. Being teased with hints of flavour was worse than eating bland food. Eggs weren't allowed to be runny, so I experienced a runny egg for the first time at 17. It was glorious and I've not looked back since. And finally,
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  • 12
    Text - RememberTunnel17 640 points · 12 hours ago My dad thinks all spices are interchangeable. I was teaching him a rice dish I had learned with Mediterranean inspired flavors. Parmesan cheese, rosemary, thyme, garlic, lemon juice, maybe throw in some basil. Very simple, easy to do in a rice cooker without even getting another pot dirty. He said he was going to try to make it right away. Call back a week later, ask him if he tried it and how it went. He says he did and that it--and he said this
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  • 13
    Text - not_cinderella 511 points · 14 hours ago Overcook every single meat. 165 degree? No AT LEAST 180. Never added salt. To anything. Not even vegetable recipes.
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  • 14
    Text - TemperatureDizzy3257 499 points · 14 hours ago My mom used to boil asparagus. It would be so tough and chewy you couldn't swallow it. I taught her how to roast it in the oven a few years ago. She hasn't gone back.
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  • 15
    Text - chrisolucky 420 points · 13 hours ago Mom would sometimes pour too much milk while making Kraft Dinner, and so it ended up being like a cheesy, watery macaroni soup.
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  • 16
    Text - Catezero 284 points · 13 hours ago My dad has a few food crimes which is made even worse by the fact he worked in kitchens for 30 years and is actually a pretty good cook otherwise. Making lasagna and ran out of mozza? Cheez whiz is a decent substitute. He once put bananas in a stir fry. Once made meatloaf and didn't chop the onions small enough so they were like finger sized chunks and the whole thing tasted like biting into a raw onion mixed with BBQ sauce. I love onion esp raw white on
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  • 17
    Text - NotMyHersheyBar 275 points · 14 hours ago boil the canned vegetables in the water they were canned in chicken on the stove with the lightest touch of oil, no salt, no seasoning, cooked to rubber idk what she did to burgers, but they were semi-flattened charcoal golf balls
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  • 18
    Text - Partingoways 228 points · 11 hours ago This isn't the worst case scenario or anything, but just this thanksgiving I had been boiling down some homemade stock for gravy. Had everything timed perfectly, I was literally measuring out the flower and grabbing butter (which is why I wasn't at the stove). My dad walks up, pulls a gallon of water out the pantry and starts pouring it in without saying a thing. I notice, yell "STOP" and he gets all confused, having already added 1/4 gallon with ful
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  • 19
    Text - Kyrazane 212 points · 13 hours ago Haha my great-grandmother was a terrible cook, so my grandma grew up thinking that burgers were supposed to be black crisps. She liked it that way, so my poor mother grew up being forced to eat charcoal briquettes. No one dared tell my grandma that they were burned until she found my mom's stash of old burgers stowed in the closet, covered in ants.
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  • 20
    Text - boastshot 183 points · 13 hours ago Gilled "barbecue"chicken on the bone. Burned black on the outside blood raw on the inside. Every single time my dad made it.
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  • 21
    Text - LallybrochSassenach 178 points · 14 hours ago My mother just adores adding wine to whatever application she can. She doesn't drink it, it gives her migraines. But if there's even a hint of a reason to maybe add it..
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  • 22
    Text - sfshecat 177 points · 12 hours ago Take a banana , slice it vertically so 2 banana half's, slather on mayonnaise. Call it a salad. A banana and mayo salad.
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  • 23
    Text - nickygirl19 149 points · 12 hours ago "Grilled cheese" twice pieces of white bread with a piece of American cheese in the microwave.
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horrible childhood memories lol funny parents
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